| | So, my hurricane namesake is busy tearing up the place. And yet, I'm surprisingly peaceful as of late. My apartment is a mess; yet as long as my bed remains a clear sanctuary, I can deal with everything else. My computer at home is barely functional. The only thing that it can run for any sustained length of time is AIM, and even that is really slow. While I feel like this should bother me on some level. I don't know, it's not like people are beating down the door to communicate with me anyway. Maybe it's saving me the letdown of only getting emails from my various listservs. I don't know why I care anyway. My communication skills have gone all haywire. I try to say things to people and I really think I must be speaking a different language. I feel like no one quite "gets" me. Even during Opus (where I usually feel like everyone understands me, no matter what I'm saying); it wasn't as bad as usual, but it wasn't as good as Opus can be for feeling understood. I definitely feel like I don't have anyone who understands me around. It's moderately frustrating. Like I'm shouting behind a glass wall. Do I even have anything to say anymore? I'm adrift, goalless. Yet, I'm happy; when I'm just walking around town, being. I've got the being thing down and it centers me. But wouldn't it be nice if I could be in a direction. And hope against hope, with some traveling companions who speak my language. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| Tuesday August 16th.
Camp Hantesa 2:30 am - I finished packing and curled up to sleep on the couch to await my leave-for-the-airport shuttle.
5:45 am - I wake up and begin helping pack the car.
6ish - We set out with half the backseat occupied with luggage, the other half occupied by me, another person, and some more luggage. And the person in the passenger front seat had a guitar in his lap. We did manage to leave empty space around the driver.
Des Moines 7:30ish - Drop person with early flight off at airport and head to breakfast. During breakfast, recieved phone call notifying me that my flight had been cancelled and I would now be leaving at 12:55.
9ish - Arrive at airport again. Meet up with people who were in other trips to the airport. Check in. (While I was checking in, a person who was trying to check in for a 9:30 departure at 9:17 was quite obnoxious to the airline people, this sorta set the tone for the day. It really shouldn't surprise me that people are so rude to service professionals, considering my job, but it flabbergasts me nonetheless.) Spend the morning hanging out with people and hug goodbye as everyone variously drifts off toward their boardings.
12:20 - Hug the last person and go to wait at my own gate. Arriving at my gate, I find that my flight has now been delayed further. I try to be comfortable in airport seating and sleep a bit.
12:50ish - Awakened by the last people from the last trip to the airport. (It almost makes it comical how early I had to wake up.) Chat a bit.
1:20ish - Final hugs, board plane. Pilot says he hopes to make up some time in the air and get us to DFW on time (2:28)
2:55 - Disembark. Run to connecting flight (supposed to leave at 2:53). Find out that it isn't even boarding yet. Get food, sit down.
3:00ish - Hear announcement asking for volunteers to give up their seats. I decided I would go see about that when I finished my pizza (I was just too tired and hungry to do it right then). As I finish eating, I am bumped. Since it was nonvoluntary, my voucher is worth much less. Oh well. More angry people yelling at airline employees. Go wait at new gate (ironically, the one I came in on, so much for running through the terminal).
Times after this point are now a blur. Suffice it to say that I voluntarily gave up my seat once again and then flew into the other Houston airport. Other people who were not so voluntary were quite angry and vocal. When I asked one of the people if i could get more than one voucher in a day, her response was, "Honey, you can play us all day." I think she was just glad someone was being polite to her. At one point, one flier was so belligerent, security had to be called. During the rest of my time waiting in Dallas, I heard from a friend who had just returned from Honduras on the same airline as me. He lost a really nice knife, that he's had for years, because they were late and he couldn't recheck his bags after clearing customs. We commisserated over airline stuff.
When I finally got back to Houston, not only could I not use my return shuttle ticket because I was at the wrong airport, but the shuttle stops running at 9. I arrived there around 11. No chance to even bargain. Luckily I have lovely friends who were willing to come all the way to the airport and take me all the way home. otherwise, my plan was to sleep at the airport and bargain with the shuttle driver in the morning.
And to complete the lovely day, my bags actually made it to the airport I was originally supposed to fly into. So, we had to stop there and pick them up on my way home. So, I visited 3 airports total.
I made it through my door at about 12:30 am. I was supposed to have arrived home around 3 and have some chill out post-con decompression time. Oh well. the upside of all this is that I've accumulated $416 in travel voucherness. Does anyone (who is near an airport serviced by American) want me to come visit them? | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| My home computer is going crazy. I'm tempted to blame whatever the problem is on my brother; seeing as how it was functioning just fine before he arrived. Yet, I'm too stressed out right now to get into any blame games. I just want it working again. My apartment is a gigantic mess. Maybe the computer not working is a sign from the universe that I should stop spending so much of my life online and clean up my living space. Especially considering that my landlord told me this morning that he's going to have an appraiser come sometime in September. Can't have it messy then. And he brought up the cat issue, too. I was only ever supposed to have two cats. Well, when Spyder had her kittens I wanted to keep one. So now I have three. I don't want to get rid of any. This really has the potential to start sucking at any moment. Work is busy, and I'm always tired. This is certainly contributing to my spending more time online than cleaning when I'm at home.
I really, really, REALLY miss having local friends my own age. It's been so much more noticable since opus. Except for various messagings and such, I feel completely cut off from human interaction. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| This morning I woke up and went to take a shower. My curtain rod was sideways in the tub. Now, this was proably the late night adventures of the kittybeasties. But the weird thing is: I totally dreamed that a week or so ago. In my dream I couldn't hang the curtain back up and had to figure out a way to shower anyway. And so goes reality.
In Slaughterhouse-Five Vonnegut says that Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time and thus is living his life all out of sequence. I feel like that. It's worse than deja vu. Last time I felt like this I ended up quitting my job. I so can't afford to do that this time. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| This week has been nothing if not mind-bogglingly hectic. I've been getting things ready to go to Iowa, had to present three programs at the library, and arranged several things for church. All this with no internet at home. I'm a little distracted, to say the least. Yesterday was my last day with one of my favorite coworkers. Her last day is while I'm in Iowa and she's off today. I hope her replacement is equally as cool. And I really hope that someone actually gets hired before she leaves, this department will be SO understaffed if we don't have that position filled.
However, I've decided to stop my fretting. If I don't get all my book orders entered before I go; well, I'll have plenty of time when I get back. It isn't like they'll ever actually be done. Unless something cataclysmic happens to books in general, I'm sure they will continue to be published. I'll just be behind for a week or so. But accepting that is going to be way better for my psyche than worrying and trying to rush. And I'm going to trust the universe that my new coworker (who will be working when I get back) will be awesome to work with.
Last night I tried on my bathing suit from like two years ago. I was trying to decide if it was even worth it to bring. Well anyway, I put it on and started feeling all my usual self-conscious blah about being fat and whatnot. And then I remembered that I was going to OPUS! And damnit everyone is beautiful and no one's going to care if I'm fat. And then I really did start to see myself as beautiful, it's such a great feeling to let the love and acceptance sink in. I love going, I have Opusbrain already.
This morning I heard back from the person I was expecting to take care of my cats while I was gone. He's not able to. I was a little frustrated while I wrote back to him and I know it showed in the email. Amazingness of the Universe though, someone just happened to drop by my desk who is totally willing to take care of my kittybaybees. So, that problem managed to resolve. And I'm definitely feeling peacefulness settle over me. Tomorrow, I'll be there, yay. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | YES! The Computer Lab has been moved. It is now in another dimension. You can get to the computer lab by stepping into the dimensional transporter, it's in the elevator. If you press the M button (stands for "magic") you will be transported to the correct dimension. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I'm exhausted. Didn't sleep well. I bought some new pillows which, in the long term I'm sure will be lovely but, are taking some getting used to. I decided to get new ones because the ones I currently have have been used for probably upwards of 10 years. I'm sure they are full of allergens after all this time.
My right knee is clicking whenever I walk upstairs. The only thing I can think of is that I did something to it during Tae-bo. It doesn't hurt or anything, so I'm not going to worry. It's just weird.
I have to read Beowulf before Tuesday. The obnoxious thing about presenting the HS summer reading titles is that I have to be even more prepared than the students. Ah well, Beowulf is one of those "fundamental stories" that I should read anyway. I'm kinda surprised that I've gotten this far without having had to read it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It's calm now, since Tuesday night. Right after I finished a major collection rearrangement, and really felt like I accomplished something. First time in a while that I've felt happy about work. I feel like I can sigh. Yet I know it's only a pause for life in general. And like a hurricane when the pause is done, the winds will return with vengeance.
So, what is this frenzy that has kept me so keyed up for the past couple of weeks? I came back from GA with a lot of ideas and energy about church stuff. And, awesomeness, it's actually panning out into reality. New programs, new ways of doing things, I hope to get people to actually move a little on Sunday. Speaking of which, I'm doing the sermon. That'll be part of the return of the frenzied wind. I just get keyed up in general when I have to do something, thanks to the universe that I've actually done all the planning ahead of time. The beginning of this week was more busy than I expected.
I wish I could compartmentalize my life, so that work stuff didn't stress out everything else (and vice versa).
Anyway, back a few weeks. I started the lemon cleanse fast on July fourth and did that for a week. Things I learned: When I get all my calories from sugar (maple syrup) my teeth get disgustingly slimy and I have to brush them approximately six times a day. I am so glad that I'm not a sugarholic. The worst thing to happen to me physically, besides the teeth, was my lips were really dry. Probaby a combination of the lemon juice and cayenne. And besides the fact that it was really tedious to be ingesting only that beverage, it was fine. I lost a couple pounds, most likely through the calorie restriction than through anything else. Does this mean that I have a remarkably toxin-free system? Nice to think about. I finished a week of fasting with a liver flush. And now I'm back to my calorie watching thing. I just REALLY need to exercise MORE. Anyway, the realigning of a lifetime of eating habits is going well.
Just in general the pendulum has really been swinging. Very little middle ground for the past few weeks. High highs, low lows. Until yesterday which was as boring as all get out. I have so much planning and preparation to do for the upcoming weeks. I'm just basking in this relatively nice pause and getting in some breathing time. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I've read it before. It was assigned reading in 9th grade. And I've watched the movie numerous times (It's an awesome movie). But, I decided to reread it because I'll be leading a discussion on it on Tuesday (it's the 10th grade summer reading title at the local high school). Anyway. All I have to say is: Holy Carp. That is an amazing book. Not only is it an amazing book, it also solidifies my ideas that children and teenagers should never be required to read any book. Honestly, I got almost nothing out of the book when I read it for school. I plodded through it and never even noticed what a brilliant novel it is. I don't think that reading should be entirely scrapped. It's just that putting a single novel on the curriculum for an entire school district seems kinda stupid. There are millions of books. Yes some are better than others. However, that is often a matter of opinion. I have no idea where I'm going with this. Except that I want to homeschool any children I may have, so that this whole reading-a-book-just-because-I-have-to-and am-not-really-prepared-to-enjoy-it-because-I-had-nothing-to-do-with-choosing-it thing can just be avoided. To Kill a Mockingbird is easily one of the best novels that I've ever read. To think I almost didn't read it (because I'd read it before and seen the movie). Maybe I ought to give Wuthering Heights another try. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
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keylarion's journal
peaceful
tired
confused
frustrated